Excellent post! I really appreciate your synthesis of mental health issues with practical guidance. And so many parents — and their kids! — could benefit from your perspective.
I always enjoy the clarity and wisdom of your posts, and often share them with my own patients. Thank you!
Thank you for this wonderfully written post. As parents, it’s especially hard to inoculate ourselves against the scary messaging with respect to our children and discern what is or is not valuable information. There’s no place we feel more vulnerable, so we are particularly susceptible to absorbing ALL of the messages around kids’ vulnerable mental health. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your point of view which puts things into a more calm perspective.
Britt - I’m so glad this resonated with you. You’ve captured exactly why it’s so challenging. When it comes to our kids, our instinct to protect can make it hard to sort helpful guidance from the noise.
It's September! Indeed! I encountered the pathologizing nonsense as a kid back in the 60s and 70s. I've seen it targeting adults too. Even similar professionals. I saw an unending pressure from guidance counselors to hire guidance counselors, and so forth. To report ever more incidence of purported pathology, risks, supposed importance of steering ever more work for guidance counselors, and the like. With teachers to spend ever more time in mtgs, on paperwork; at the expense of time w/ students: time teaching. My Mom long taught public kindergarten. Told us the teachers hated the bureaucratic crap. Wanted to TEACH the best they could, attentive to their respective students. She'd been a psych major herself in college. Loathed what was often called 'psychobabble': pathologizing most any supposed problem as a psychological defect.Heck my adopted pets had been rescused from abandonment. Their little faces showed heartbreaking terror for weeks every day I left them for work. 'Would Daddy ever return?' Gradually, their faith grew. They were still mighty excited by my return, but increasingly came to expect this. A normal upbringing: shared together. I was told my previous kitty would hear (smell?) me exiting the elevator down the other end of the hallway. When to a kitchen chair and stood up on her hind legs like a squirrel, eyes fixed on the door I was about to burst through. The previous "Kitty" would anticipate my approach by hauling herself from the BR to the middle of the apt: sprawling on her back for me to rub her tummy on my return. A puppy I cared for when asked by a neighbor, would wiper w/ little cries as she heard my approach: giving way to lick, jumping, rubbing her head on me. Anxiety, anticipation, relief, periods of relieved happiness: LIFE. All without many complexities human kids face. Naturally, I was plenty happy to see them too.
Thanks, Mark! You highlight something so important: how easily ordinary human (and animal!) responses can be over-pathologized, and how much gets lost when we bury teachers, parents, and kids under layers of unnecessary bureaucracy.
Excellent article! I agree with the messaging for children and that many transitions involve typical developmental responses. I think the messaging about monitoring children’s reactions is mainly for parents to be aware as well as for parents of kids who are not typically developing or begin to show signs of anxiety. I always advise parents to be positive around the kids and to try not to share their own anxieties. It’s a tough balance sometimes.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful perspective, Andrea. You’re absolutely right—awareness and attunement matter, especially for children who may be more vulnerable or showing signs of anxiety. And I couldn’t agree more about the importance (and challenge!) of modeling calm while holding our own worries … it’s such a delicate balance.
What a remarkably thoughtful analysis Dr. Boardman! I truly enjoyed how you've based your practical strategies on the idea of championing the 'natural resilience' of children... this is a fantastic and encouraging read for parents experiencing any anxiety over back-to-school day :)
This is a much-needed corrective. When we pre-load children with narratives of stress and fragility, we don’t protect them—we prime them. Confidence, calm, and routine communicate something far more regulating than endless “processing”: you can handle this. Most kids don’t need anxiety management for September; they need adults who trust their resilience.
Just found your Substack through Let's Grow and love this article. 20 year math teacher here and I've seen a constant increase in the "treatment" of kids at school. They are constantly being pulled out to talk to the mental health counsellor, a newly created thing to deal with these pathologies. Of course the kids love being pulled out of class, the counsellor has beanbag chairs, toys, and candy (high school!), and what kid is going to admit that they don't need to actually go anymore? Meanwhile we have increasing levels of mental health issues. What is the cause and what is the effect or are they feeding on each other?
Excellent post! I really appreciate your synthesis of mental health issues with practical guidance. And so many parents — and their kids! — could benefit from your perspective.
I always enjoy the clarity and wisdom of your posts, and often share them with my own patients. Thank you!
Thanks so much, Risa!
Thank you for this wonderfully written post. As parents, it’s especially hard to inoculate ourselves against the scary messaging with respect to our children and discern what is or is not valuable information. There’s no place we feel more vulnerable, so we are particularly susceptible to absorbing ALL of the messages around kids’ vulnerable mental health. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your point of view which puts things into a more calm perspective.
Britt - I’m so glad this resonated with you. You’ve captured exactly why it’s so challenging. When it comes to our kids, our instinct to protect can make it hard to sort helpful guidance from the noise.
Great article. I don’t remember from my own childhood or my kids any of this worry about back to school. Excitement was the main feeling.
Exactly, Aileen - we need more excitement and less dread.
Another excellent article! Thank you!
Thanks!
It's September! Indeed! I encountered the pathologizing nonsense as a kid back in the 60s and 70s. I've seen it targeting adults too. Even similar professionals. I saw an unending pressure from guidance counselors to hire guidance counselors, and so forth. To report ever more incidence of purported pathology, risks, supposed importance of steering ever more work for guidance counselors, and the like. With teachers to spend ever more time in mtgs, on paperwork; at the expense of time w/ students: time teaching. My Mom long taught public kindergarten. Told us the teachers hated the bureaucratic crap. Wanted to TEACH the best they could, attentive to their respective students. She'd been a psych major herself in college. Loathed what was often called 'psychobabble': pathologizing most any supposed problem as a psychological defect.Heck my adopted pets had been rescused from abandonment. Their little faces showed heartbreaking terror for weeks every day I left them for work. 'Would Daddy ever return?' Gradually, their faith grew. They were still mighty excited by my return, but increasingly came to expect this. A normal upbringing: shared together. I was told my previous kitty would hear (smell?) me exiting the elevator down the other end of the hallway. When to a kitchen chair and stood up on her hind legs like a squirrel, eyes fixed on the door I was about to burst through. The previous "Kitty" would anticipate my approach by hauling herself from the BR to the middle of the apt: sprawling on her back for me to rub her tummy on my return. A puppy I cared for when asked by a neighbor, would wiper w/ little cries as she heard my approach: giving way to lick, jumping, rubbing her head on me. Anxiety, anticipation, relief, periods of relieved happiness: LIFE. All without many complexities human kids face. Naturally, I was plenty happy to see them too.
Thanks, Mark! You highlight something so important: how easily ordinary human (and animal!) responses can be over-pathologized, and how much gets lost when we bury teachers, parents, and kids under layers of unnecessary bureaucracy.
Excellent article! I agree with the messaging for children and that many transitions involve typical developmental responses. I think the messaging about monitoring children’s reactions is mainly for parents to be aware as well as for parents of kids who are not typically developing or begin to show signs of anxiety. I always advise parents to be positive around the kids and to try not to share their own anxieties. It’s a tough balance sometimes.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful perspective, Andrea. You’re absolutely right—awareness and attunement matter, especially for children who may be more vulnerable or showing signs of anxiety. And I couldn’t agree more about the importance (and challenge!) of modeling calm while holding our own worries … it’s such a delicate balance.
Thank you for this important messaging! (And reminder) -A child psychologist
Thanks!
What a remarkably thoughtful analysis Dr. Boardman! I truly enjoyed how you've based your practical strategies on the idea of championing the 'natural resilience' of children... this is a fantastic and encouraging read for parents experiencing any anxiety over back-to-school day :)
I hope this helps!
Spot on! Thank you for being a consistent voice of reason!!
Thank YOU for the thoughtful comment!
Love this! So well written and makes a lot of sense.
Thanks!
We head back to school today in Texas and this couldn’t be more perfect. Thank you!
I hope these 4 shifts help!
This is a much-needed corrective. When we pre-load children with narratives of stress and fragility, we don’t protect them—we prime them. Confidence, calm, and routine communicate something far more regulating than endless “processing”: you can handle this. Most kids don’t need anxiety management for September; they need adults who trust their resilience.
Just found your Substack through Let's Grow and love this article. 20 year math teacher here and I've seen a constant increase in the "treatment" of kids at school. They are constantly being pulled out to talk to the mental health counsellor, a newly created thing to deal with these pathologies. Of course the kids love being pulled out of class, the counsellor has beanbag chairs, toys, and candy (high school!), and what kid is going to admit that they don't need to actually go anymore? Meanwhile we have increasing levels of mental health issues. What is the cause and what is the effect or are they feeding on each other?
Anyway, looking forward to reading more.