I agree! When I was 34 our six week old son died suddenly. SIDS. We also had a four year old and a two year old to take care of. We grieved. We established a camp fund in his memory which I fund raised for organizing fun events at our local JCC. We had another son after. am not 73 with 6 grandchildren and a retired LCSW. I am a sensitive and compassionate person. The memory of our beloved son is still unbearably painful. This is one part of our lives that breaks my heart and I have never allowed myself to get stuck. I focus on our joy. Channeling my grief into positive action worked for me. Knowing myself, I figured a way to move forward. We had two other children to nurture. This is a personal story. Your wisdom is appreciated by me. Your approach resonates. It is my way.
Great post! The title hooked me right in. I think there's a distinction to be made between ignoring thoughts versus ignoring feelings/emotions. Thoughts often lead us down unhelpful rabbit warrens, whilst emotions need to be felt and acknowledged in order to be released.... at least that's my experience 😊
This seems like an awfully strong conclusion to make off of one study. I believe there is much more substantive evidence and theory to suggest that thought suppression does not usually work and can actually make the thoughts more intense. Suppression of thoughts and feelings about a traumatic event can make it more likely that someone develops PTSD, for example. There is also important nuance to the conversation, for example, pushing thoughts away is different than distraction which is different than acceptance or turning your attention, etc.
So helpful, as always. I agree with one of your other commentors that it's difficult to find a balance between "sweeping" that is helpful vs. detrimental.
My therapist agrees with you! But she talks about it in terms of regression. How stable are we when we regress while in a tense situation? We lose connection to our adult faculties and indulge in emotions when we should be in touch with the outer environment and others. Difficult situations require grasping reality accurately and problem solving. Being true to ones feelings is not going to help much.
This is very interesting! The world needs more of this line of thinking. Sadly we are embroiled in a culture that urges people to victimize themselves. In the process, they harm themselves, their relationships, and the trajectory of their lives! Nothing wrong with focusing on the positive, and moving forward.
The older generations had it right..
none of this nonsense is progress. Only progressing towards misery.
I find the best way to avoid thinking about something, is to focus on that something absolutely and completely with total determination... Within a few seconds or minutes, I am no longer thinking about it.
I agree! When I was 34 our six week old son died suddenly. SIDS. We also had a four year old and a two year old to take care of. We grieved. We established a camp fund in his memory which I fund raised for organizing fun events at our local JCC. We had another son after. am not 73 with 6 grandchildren and a retired LCSW. I am a sensitive and compassionate person. The memory of our beloved son is still unbearably painful. This is one part of our lives that breaks my heart and I have never allowed myself to get stuck. I focus on our joy. Channeling my grief into positive action worked for me. Knowing myself, I figured a way to move forward. We had two other children to nurture. This is a personal story. Your wisdom is appreciated by me. Your approach resonates. It is my way.
Great post! The title hooked me right in. I think there's a distinction to be made between ignoring thoughts versus ignoring feelings/emotions. Thoughts often lead us down unhelpful rabbit warrens, whilst emotions need to be felt and acknowledged in order to be released.... at least that's my experience 😊
This seems like an awfully strong conclusion to make off of one study. I believe there is much more substantive evidence and theory to suggest that thought suppression does not usually work and can actually make the thoughts more intense. Suppression of thoughts and feelings about a traumatic event can make it more likely that someone develops PTSD, for example. There is also important nuance to the conversation, for example, pushing thoughts away is different than distraction which is different than acceptance or turning your attention, etc.
Keep up the great writing. I enjoy reading your posts.
So helpful, as always. I agree with one of your other commentors that it's difficult to find a balance between "sweeping" that is helpful vs. detrimental.
I think there’s a balance...
Nothing is more fatal to health than an over care of it.
My therapist agrees with you! But she talks about it in terms of regression. How stable are we when we regress while in a tense situation? We lose connection to our adult faculties and indulge in emotions when we should be in touch with the outer environment and others. Difficult situations require grasping reality accurately and problem solving. Being true to ones feelings is not going to help much.
This is very interesting! The world needs more of this line of thinking. Sadly we are embroiled in a culture that urges people to victimize themselves. In the process, they harm themselves, their relationships, and the trajectory of their lives! Nothing wrong with focusing on the positive, and moving forward.
The older generations had it right..
none of this nonsense is progress. Only progressing towards misery.
Anyway, thanks !
Am I missing something here?
I find the best way to avoid thinking about something, is to focus on that something absolutely and completely with total determination... Within a few seconds or minutes, I am no longer thinking about it.
I can't even tell myself what to do! 😆