Lukianoff and Haidt called the impulse, if not standard procedure, to trust your feelings one of the three great untruths of the modern Western era. I suspect this urge is not new, but having all sorts of authorities recommending feelings as a substitute for objective information and logical reasoning is certainly contributing to great individual and societal distortion. I also suspect that some people use feelings and emotional reasoning to justify the concept of "their own truth" (and whatever that truth contains.
I’ve lost count of the many letters I’ve written over the years that were never sent! I’ve often found after I’ve poured my heart out on paper that I can then compose a more reasonable response. It’s like once those feelings are out, I can get a better look at them to know whether to trust them or not. Validating my feelings and acting on them are two different things! The expression and validation are important parts of the process, but sitting with those feelings and writing about them are very safe compared to launching them at a person.
Love the “honest Abe” reference., thanks ! . But isnt expression more authentic when expressed ? Are we being honest when we refuse to share our inner life and where we put our writing in a drawer unsigned and disowned? The current TikTok generation has a different psychological structure than Gen X or Boomers or dead presidents . In their mind, shame is the enemy and honesty is ones best friend. However, this is naive thinking since self expression can only happen amongst friends and equals. Lincoln well understood the power dynamic in his letter and most certainly found it unfair to humiliate his general. The young and free have trouble accepting the persona (jung) as a necessary part of ones psychological makeup. I certainly used to mock my elders stiff upper lip approach to strangers . But a persona is as necessary to our selves as clothing is to our bodies. We all want the naked truth but we have to cover ourselves as well. This is the compromise of being a civilized adult.
Thanks for a voice of and for reason.
Feel your feelings? OK
Share your feelings? Maybe
Trust your feelings? Uh oh.
Lukianoff and Haidt called the impulse, if not standard procedure, to trust your feelings one of the three great untruths of the modern Western era. I suspect this urge is not new, but having all sorts of authorities recommending feelings as a substitute for objective information and logical reasoning is certainly contributing to great individual and societal distortion. I also suspect that some people use feelings and emotional reasoning to justify the concept of "their own truth" (and whatever that truth contains.
We need more stoicism and less teen drama queen.
Such an excellent reflection on emotions and emotional regulation!
This is wisdom. It reminds me of a quote: "Trust your gut in all manners but love. For that, you must trust your head."
Wonderful piece. Thank you; I’ll remember this!
I’ve lost count of the many letters I’ve written over the years that were never sent! I’ve often found after I’ve poured my heart out on paper that I can then compose a more reasonable response. It’s like once those feelings are out, I can get a better look at them to know whether to trust them or not. Validating my feelings and acting on them are two different things! The expression and validation are important parts of the process, but sitting with those feelings and writing about them are very safe compared to launching them at a person.
Great article with examples.
Thank you for your article A quick read and I was able glean the wisdom from it that made sense to me.
Love the “honest Abe” reference., thanks ! . But isnt expression more authentic when expressed ? Are we being honest when we refuse to share our inner life and where we put our writing in a drawer unsigned and disowned? The current TikTok generation has a different psychological structure than Gen X or Boomers or dead presidents . In their mind, shame is the enemy and honesty is ones best friend. However, this is naive thinking since self expression can only happen amongst friends and equals. Lincoln well understood the power dynamic in his letter and most certainly found it unfair to humiliate his general. The young and free have trouble accepting the persona (jung) as a necessary part of ones psychological makeup. I certainly used to mock my elders stiff upper lip approach to strangers . But a persona is as necessary to our selves as clothing is to our bodies. We all want the naked truth but we have to cover ourselves as well. This is the compromise of being a civilized adult.